Tomorrow I Will Put My Cell Phone On Airplane Mode And Tell You I Am Doing It For Political Reasons
Alex Mussawir

 

 

i will walk into the kitchen and eat an orange standing up
the orange will have a warm and mushy consistency
and instead of eating the orange
i will sort of suck on the pieces and then spit them out

i will stand over the trash can spitting out the mushy orange pieces
while imagining myself starring in an advertisement
for either the orange pieces or the trash can
i will imagine a film crew standing in the kitchen with me
the film crew wanting to keep re-filming the scene
testing out different camera angles and things
while i continue sucking on / spitting out the mushy orange pieces
calmly accepting my acting responsibilities

i will take the bus to my restaurant job
and it will be lunch rush when i clock in
my coworkers will say ‘lunch rush’ a lot
i will cook an egg sandwich and say
“that’s a good ass looking egg sandwich”
to ben, my coworker, who will say “hell yeah”

i will get off work at my restaurant job
and wally, the janitor, will fist bump me
and ben, my coworker, will walk with me to the alley way
we will drink tequila out of a water bottle
without really talking to each other
and wally will be taking the trash out and yell
“IT’S THE CHEF POLICE HA HA” at us
and i will fist bump him again

i will buy a $2 beer from the corner store
and benji, the cashier, will say
“that’ll be two…HUNDRED…dollars”
and i will smile at him
feeling like an out of control white person
and hand him a five dollar bill

i will walk to your house
and we will sit on your porch
we will pass the $2 beer back and forth
unable to relate to each other for some reason
and the reason will be confusing and hard to explain
confusing enough that both of us
will run out of energy before figuring it out
run out of energy and give up

we will walk to your bedroom
and we will have sex without a condom
and you will wipe my semen
off your stomach with a paper towel
you will go to the bathroom
and i will sit still naked on your bed
looking at a rubik’s cube
that i will find on your night stand

i will, at first slowly, and then rapidly
begin moving the pieces of the rubik’s cube
believing that, for some reason, i will be able
to effortlessly complete the rubik’s cube
that a behind the scenes section of my brain
will solve the rubik’s cube inexplicably
without informing the rest of my brain

i will do this for 5 minutes
do it for 5 minutes and run out of energy
run out of energy and give up
and i will think how people’s lives
could be characterized
not so much by the things they have done
but by the method and manner
in which they have given up

i will view myself as existing
in a constant state of
‘starring in an advertisement for something’
while you exit the bathroom
appearing far away and small
i will smile at you
touch your arm a little
calmly accepting my acting responsibilities

we will sit on your porch
sharing a cigarette
and i will leave to buy more
tell you i might stop by
later
walk to the corner store
smile at benji
buy a pack of cigarettes for 500 dollars