My grandmother had glass display cases that lined her walls and underneath the dust there were glass or ceramic figurines called Precious Moments and they were mostly religious or involved family or love and they were these little white children that were in situations where they were kissing or some bullshit and these are some moments in my life that I would like captured by a cutesy glass statue.
1. I am 22 and live alone in a duplex off of Fourth Street and I am really depressed and the previous tenant left an entire case of Four Loko in the fridge and it is whatever flavor the yellow can is and I drink it almost every night for two months and I have no money at the time, but to make myself feel better I go to the Sousy Mart across the street and buy frozen pizzas.
2. On a Sunday morning I receive an email from my instructor asking where I am and I quickly respond “I am scrubbing my face.” A few minutes later my Aunt calls me and I silence the call and text her “I am scrubbing my face.” I am not scrubbing my face. I am in bed staring at the ceiling.
3. I’m walking on High Street passing Utrecht and a car of men pulls up and one yells, “Nice leather jacket you faggot,” out of the window at me.
4. Sitting in the back seat of someone’s car staring at my reflection in the rear view mirror thinking “my face looks like a skull” over and over and then just thinking “skull.”
5. Constantly quoting a Youtube video of Britney Spears in which she is wasted talking about how she thinks the time travel in Back to the Future is realand is trying to convince her then boyfriend Kevin Federline that it is real.
6. Looking at my Grandmother’s flattened body in a coffin and staring at her lips, because she is wearing the wrong color lipstick.
7. My girlfriend Natasha breaking up with me in the 5th grade for my brother and crying in my math class.
8. Watching you dance on stage doing a karaoke rendition of a Billy Idol song thinking I was thirsty, but I want to die, but I’ll just walk across the street and eat pizza alone then take an Uber to my house and listen to Jewel.
Your body is a Jeffree Star Makeup Tutorial
Your body is a 9/11 Memorial gift shop
Your body is a grad student taught class
Your body is a DIY reading at a house and there’s soup, someone made a vegetarian/vegan soup
Your body is a National Treasure (starring Nicholas Cage)
Your body is a Hawthorne Heights cover band
Your body is a Tila Tequila Conspiracy Theory
Your body is a Pin-striped Fedora at a fair-trade coffee shop talking about IPAs
Your body is the parking lot of a Dave Matthews concert
Your body is a babadook
Your body is a Friends box set (Director’s Cut)
Your body is a t-shirt cannon
Your body is a BW3 trivia game and I am losing
Your body is a latte art battle
Your body is Helga Pataki from the Nickelodeon cartoon Hey Arnold making a secret gum sculpture in her closet shaped like Arnold’s head
Your body is a public mural telling you that you must realize and acknowledge you are conventionally attractive
Your body is 13.99 plus shipping and handling
Your body is a Xenos mega-store
Your body is a Seagull bag
Your body is ground zero
Your body is a one set of footprints because Jesus was giving you a piggyback
Your body is a Mucinex commercial
Your body is a Buzzfeed quiz
Your body is a jam band
Your body is a new age retro hippie
Your body is an exposed brick artisan café and I’m casually sitting there drinking a $5 iced tea
Your body is an anti-vaccer
Your body is a bedbug punk house
Your body is a top chef (kids edition)
Your body is a Jessica Simpson brand extension
Your body is “if you see something/say something”
Your body is a swipe left
Your body is a swipe right
Your body is the man in the moon
Your body is a border
Your body is the physical projection of your mental self
Your body is…I’ll let you decide